TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".

8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.

7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day."

5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. With your last HMO, your pills didn't come in different colors with
little M's on them.

1. You ask for Viagra; you get two Popsicle sticks and duct tape.

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